Coercion: Sexual Assault Awareness

Today at my college they held a 'Take Back the Night' event that was about highlighting the voices and experiences of sexual assault victims, promoting the importance of consent and the different resources available to anyone going through interpersonal violence, sexual harassment etc. As a small opener they had students write messages to anyone struggling with their experiences, to uplift, spread awareness or positivity. I chose to make my message about coercion, albeit I did misspell the word lml. 

"A 'YES' AFTER 10 'NO's IS A NO! #stopcoercion'

I am unfortunately one of billions of victims of various forms sexual harassment and sexual assault but one of the seemingly 'lesser' overlooked forms is coercion. It can look like your partner begging you throughout your evening to have sex, possibly throwing in some guilt tripping, maybe blackmail, even potentially leaving without a ride in somewhere unfamiliar or threats of bodily harm etc. Your initial answer was 'no', and you kept saying 'no' but eventually gave in after the pressure of the repeated request often accompanied by panic based on aforementioned emotionally manipulative tactics. After the sex or sexual act, rather than feeling satisfied or happy, mixed feelings of relief that its over with commonly take over. In my case, I just wanted to get home, shower and sleep to forget the situation. 

In the US, sexual coercion is considered rape- rightfully so- and it can be hard to come to terms with especially as someone unaware of the actual meaning of rape. Rape does not always have to be in an alley, park, bus stop or gym; it does not have to leave physical marks on your skin- it is simply someone forcing someone else to perform penetrative acts without consent. The force can be physical, verbal, via intimidation, blackmail etc. If the sexual acts being forced nonconsensually are not penetrative, it is still sexual assault- it is still VIOLENCE. 

I'm happy that the school I attend has events of this nature and has resources on and off campus for members of our community to feel seen and heard. It is important that organized, institution backed opportunities to educate the public and bring awareness are promoted and regularly held to ensure that no one is left guessing what to do next when the unfortunate happens.